A Return, Followed Immediately By A Departure

So I went back to the school today for the first time since I called off sick. I know, I make it sound like I was gone for some amazingly huge chunk of time, rather than just the five days it actually was. But like I told my CCT today, it felt like I'd gotten only a one day vacation, instead of what was essentially a five day vacation. Not only that, I feel so behind too. I had originally intended to already have my induction plan almost totally finished by today.

Sadly, that was not to be. So I'll try and work on it tomorrow, and if it means I have to tote it home to finish it, I have to tote it home to finish it. Fortunately, my supervisor is very understanding, so I don't foresee any problems with doing so.

Today felt...weird. I think part of the reason it felt weird was that I'm starting to make a connection to the students. They were genuinely glad to see me, and glad I was feeling better. The neatest thing was that fifth period actually made me a get-well card. It was cute. Just a piece of paper with some random scribbles and everyone's name, but I was touched. There's a lot of good kids in my CCT's classes. Even the ones who aren't so good are, in their own way, great kids.

Now I have to prepare myself mentally and physically. I hate these POP seminars we have to go to. This stuff isn't going to work. You can't make me believe it will. Maybe for severe long term problems...but that's a maybe. Some kids don't respond to liberal pandering. Some respond to sarcastic snarking. To negativity.

Maybe that's one of my biggest complaints about the education system in this country. We try and treat everyone exactly the same. No one wins when we do that. If we treat everyone how they deserve to be treated, we acknowledge that some people deal with things in different ways. If my parents had ever said 'It is better to hit your brother than to explain your problem to him.' in a nice neutral or positive tone, I would've laughed in their face. But when they said, in a sharp, biting, sarcastic tone. "Yeah. It's a good idea to punch your brother because he broke something of yours." You felt more that what you'd done was wrong.

But no, we try and be neutral and even with everyone. Treat everyone the same. I won't even get started on the fact that a lot of times, people end up playing by entirely different sets of rules for dealing with one another.

More anger and bitterness tomorrow...after the seminar.